Simple self love

Much has been said about self-love and its importance in healing and integration. There are many ways to enhance self-love. Here are 5 simple tips that you can use to be kind to yourself and increase your levels of self-appreciation.

1. Write Down The Good Stuff

You have already accomplished so much in your life that you fail to take note of. Schools, weddings, buying a house, maybe even childbirth. You have also gone through funerals and injuries. But you do not give yourself credit for any of it, and there is no reason not to be proud of these experiences.

This is just the iceberg, and there is no way to write about all you have accomplished in writing. But you should try. Because it is only when you start to write down all that has happened to you and all that you appreciate that you come to understand how lucky you are.

Gratitude and appreciation are just a mindset. Unless you develop these faculties, you are still going to search for more and more and more. And despite getting more and more, you are never going to be satisfied. The world is full of people seeking more and more, and it never works.

What does work is being appreciative and grateful for what you have. Keep a gratitude journal close to your bedside.

Every morning and evening, write down just 3 things that you are happy about. It does not matter what is coming up or how the day went, you just have to write down 3 things in the gratitude journal.

This will create a positive shift throughout the day.

As you write down and look over all of the positive things that happened in your life, you will start to cultivate a mindset of appreciation. And as this happens, you start to appreciate life more, which will have a snowball effect.

Make a habit of writing down all that you enjoy. It is one of the easiest and most effective strategies to cultivate self-love. You have far more to be joyful for than you believe, but you need to take the first step and remove yourself from a negative mindset.

If writing does not suit, you could also just remember some happy memories or keep a scrapbook full of nice pictures. It just has to be a repository of positive items or traits that you appreciate about yourself.

2. Eliminate the Trash

The fact of the matter is that you deserve better than what you are achieving right now. And you should not be in any way reluctant to get rid of things that are not serving you. Things that you need to eliminate will likely include the news, social media, technology, bad foods, alcohol, cigarettes, negative thoughts, and sloth in general.

But it goes further than this. You have to get out of a relationship that you are not fully committed to. While the idea of finding fulfilment from a partner alone is incredibly misguided, you should at least feel happy with your partner and be compatible. If not, be kind to yourself and find a different significant other.

Work is one place where you need to really make sure you are the right fit. If you are really unhappy in the role, then leaving might be the better option. Alternatively, you might want to save some cash and wait for an opportunity to make the switch. A toxic work

Environment can be very damaging to your self-esteem. There are many options available and if you really want the life of your dreams, you can have it.

The truth is that the best way to care of yourself involves eliminating many of the things that make you feel bad. Ensure that you are putting yourself first by removing the excess. This is a far more simple step than most people make it out to be. When you have finally quit your toxic job or relationship, the relief will be palpable. There are few, if any, who have said that quitting their job to go travel the world was a bad decision.

You will also have to eliminate limiting beliefs. These beliefs often stop you from really caring about yourself. You might believe that you are not a confident person or that you are always depressed or introverted. But these beliefs often come from a single past experience that you thought about a lot and repeated to yourself. When you adopt positive beliefs your enjoyment will truly start to unfold and you can unashamedly pamper yourself without any guilt or reluctance.

Take a Break: Be Happy Now

Every individual needs rest and relaxation. What this entails is unique to everyone. It could be sitting beside a fire and reading a book, going to the spa for a massage, or taking a walk in nature. Regardless, identify what you like to do and fit them into your daily life as much as possible. Because you deserve to do them frequently.

When you put off things for a long time period, it can create a sense of restlessness in the mind. Most people put off living their life until they reach vacation time. But joy and happiness need to be present in work, play, and vacation time. They are not something to be put off for one single second. You should smile going into work and smile coming out. While this might round ridiculous, there is no reason it cannot be this way except for your conditioning.

Despite the seriousness of any event, you can reframe it in your mind for the better. And you can change any circumstance in such a way that you are happy for it occurring. Consider that many people are happy just to have food or their health. Make a habit of being happy at all times instead of waiting for it to arrive.

Alternatively, If you do schedule regular relaxation time for whatever it is that you like to do on a daily basis, then you can be happy for that during the day. There is always something to appreciate. If worse comes to worst, you can just open your gratitude journal to see how good life really is.

Prepare For a Better Future

Every person needs a goal or something to look forward to. While this most often takes the form of financial gain, it would be best to focus on developing emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Set out a plan for self-development that is comprehensive and all-encompassing. In this way, you will have a framework to work with and a real means of developing.

Obviously, you can’t become too dogmatic in terms of what you achieve with this. But you need to commit to improving each and every day to be ultimately fulfilled. There are many brilliant online courses that are designed specifically to increase self-love and overall well-being. Some consist of a number of practical month-long experiments that are designed to push you to the limits of your consciousness.

At least, you should have one or two philosophies or speakers on YouTube that you are paying attention to. You are not short on information or challenges to make a better version of yourself. But it does take consistency and dedication.

Your speaker or philosophy should obviously be something that you resonate with deeply. It is better if you have a network of people who you are friends with that follow the same ideology. If you do put in the work you are going to get better. There is no reason to get overly dogmatic about whether the philosophy is correct or not. Different speakers have different teachings which are all useful. In other words, they work for certain people at certain times. Some benefit from Stoic works, others from positive psychology, more still from metaphysical practices such as Yoga, chanting, or singing bowls. The whole point is that you enjoy it and feel that you are developing as a person.

It’s 2023. You can go practically anywhere you want in the world, learn any language, taste any food, start up any business, pick any hobby you want. The options are endless. But most people are unsure of themselves. They want validation from other people that what they are doing is correct. So they often fail to evolve and live an incredibly fulfilling life.

There is absolutely no obligation to work 9-5 in a city if you don’t want to. The internet contains every piece of information you could possibly need to thrive in the fullest sense of the word.

 Watch Your Self-Talk

Everybody has a huge amount of negative chit chat going on inside of their heads. They have had past negative experiences and then fear that this will happen again. They might not feel confident, might have social anxiety, financial worries, health issues and more. But the worries that have around these issues far dwarf the events themselves. In the words of Carl Jung: “We have found the enemy, and he is us”. The truth is that we are our own worst enemy.

We criticize ourselves endlessly and are highly aware of what other people think of us. But when we focus on what others think of us, we do not receive the fullness that life has to offer, because we miss the details while our focus on our identities.

Be kind with your self-talk. You are doing very well, regardless of where you are at in life. Everybody has unique struggles to go through and you are doing your best either to pull yourself out of a hole or to attain higher states of awareness. Either way, focus on the positive and make some affirmations to help you on the way. You can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

Lots of people have made a lifelong habit of complaining about where they are at and being unhappy with their circumstances. They constantly think about what they are doing wrong. A good exercise could be to analyze how long other people would be your friends if they talked to you the way you did. Things like:

I am thirty and will never get a boyfriend”

I am overweight”

Some people are just not good with money”

Should be replaced with:

I am young and have my life ahead of me”

I am going to be thin very soon”

Money is just a product of mind that I will master”

Your self-talk has the biggest impact on your overall well-being. Make sure to let yourself know that it is ok to cry, that you are worthy of love, that life is enjoyable, that you have nothing to fear, and that you can manifest anything that you want. Ultimately, this is empowering. You are the one who gets to decide how you feel.

Bonus Point

Taking care of yourself is actually uplifting, revitalizing, compassionate, and completely natural. It is the way that things are meant to be. Making alterations to your lifestyle such as meditation, gratitude, exercise and diet might start out as chores. But as you move forward they serve to become an enhanced way of life where you learn to really take care of yourself in a meaningful way.

Nothing could be more difficult than what most people actually do, working up a corporate ladder and berating themselves for going too slowly.

Life is inherently easy as long as you stop tricking yourself into believing you should be doing better. Be kind to yourself, do what you can and remember to relax. No one has the power to judge your life except you, and you are the only one who can make it better by appreciating yourself more.

Why do some people avoid change


People avoid change for a variety of reasons, and these reasons can vary from person to person. Here are some common reasons why some individuals may resist or avoid change:


Fear of the Unknown: Change often involves stepping into unfamiliar territory, which can be anxiety-inducing. People may fear the uncertainty and unpredictability that change can bring.


Comfort Zone: People tend to develop routines and habits that provide a sense of comfort and stability. Change disrupts these routines, and some may resist it to avoid leaving their comfort zones.


Loss of Control: Change can sometimes make individuals feel like they have less control over their lives or their circumstances. This loss of perceived control can be unsettling.


Past Negative Experiences: If someone has experienced negative outcomes from previous changes, they may be more hesitant to embrace new ones. Past failures or traumas can create a reluctance to change.


Lack of Confidence: People may doubt their ability to adapt to new situations or fear they won’t be successful in a changed environment. Low self-confidence can hinder one’s willingness to embrace change.


Risk Aversion: Change often involves some level of risk, whether it’s financial, social, or personal. Risk-averse individuals may resist change to avoid potential negative consequences.


Attachment to the Status Quo: Some people become attached to the current state of affairs, even if it’s not ideal, because they are familiar with it. They may resist change because they are emotionally invested in the way things are.


Peer Pressure and Social Norms: Social pressure can be a significant factor in resisting change. People may conform to the norms and expectations of their social groups, even if it means avoiding change that might be beneficial.


Overwhelm: Change often requires effort, time, and energy to adapt. People may avoid change when they feel overwhelmed by the prospect of dealing with the associated challenges.


Perceived Lack of Need: If individuals believe that the current situation is sufficient or that the proposed change doesn’t address a pressing issue, they may be less motivated to embrace it.


Cognitive Bias: Various cognitive biases, such as confirmation bias (seeking information that confirms existing beliefs) and the status quo bias (preferring things to stay as they are), can influence people’s resistance to change.


It’s important to note that not all individuals resist change, and some may even embrace it enthusiastically.

The degree to which people embrace or resist change can depend on their personality, past experiences, mindset, and the specific nature of the change in question.


Effective change management strategies often involve addressing these reasons for resistance and providing support and incentives to help individuals navigate and accept change.

The Importance of Gratitude


The importance of being grateful extends far beyond mere politeness or social niceties. Cultivating a practice of gratitude can have profound positive effects on our mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. Here are some key reasons why gratitude is important:

1.Shifts Focus to the Positive:

Gratitude helps shift our focus from what may be lacking or negative in our lives to what we already have and appreciate. It allows us to recognize and acknowledge the positive aspects, experiences, and relationships we often take for granted.

2.Enhances Mental Well-being:

Regularly expressing gratitude has been linked to improved mental health. It can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression while fostering a more optimistic outlook. Gratitude helps rewire our brains to focus on the positive and promotes a sense of contentment and satisfaction.

Strengthens Relationships:

Expressing gratitude towards others strengthens our relationships and deepens our connections. It helps us acknowledge and appreciate the kindness, support, and love we receive from others. Gratitude fosters a positive atmosphere in our interactions and promotes empathy, understanding, and a sense of belonging.

Increases Resilience:

Gratitude can enhance our resilience in the face of challenges and adversity. It helps us find silver linings, learn from difficult experiences, and maintain a sense of hope and optimism. By recognizing what we are grateful for, we build inner strength and emotional well-being, enabling us to navigate life’s ups and downs more effectively.

Promotes Physical Health:

Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can have physical health benefits. It can lower blood pressure, improve sleep quality, and boost the immune system. Grateful individuals often engage in healthier behaviors, such as regular exercise and self-care, leading to overall better physical well-being.

Fosters Mindfulness and Present Moment Awareness:

Gratitude encourages us to be fully present and mindful of the present moment. It helps us savor and appreciate the little joys, beauty, and experiences that may otherwise go unnoticed. By cultivating gratitude, we learn to live with greater awareness and a deeper sense of gratitude for the present.

Inspires Acts of Kindness:

When we are grateful for what we have received, we are more likely to pay it forward and engage in acts of kindness towards others. Gratitude inspires generosity, compassion, and a desire to make a positive difference in the lives of others, creating a ripple effect of gratitude and kindness.

Incorporating a regular gratitude practice into our lives allows us to foster a more positive mindset, improve our well-being, and strengthen our relationships. By acknowledging and appreciating the good in our lives, we can experience greater happiness, fulfillment, and a deeper connection with ourselves and those around us.

Changing Habits That Are Deeply Ingrained in the Subconscious

Ever trying changing a habit so desperately only to find out that something deep within is not willing? You have gone to counselors, the psychologists, spent money on self books and running to every sort of seminar that includes the self help stuff only to find yourself at the same position you were in before? It is said that it is at this moment when the subconscious and the conscious are at logger heads and in most cases the subconscious wins.

Our habits drive our lives, that is why it is important to bring the bad habits into our conscious awareness and replace them with the obstruct ones to be able to move forward. If you are not yet where you want to be or if you have not yet achieved what you have always desired for a long time then you ought to really examine your approaches to life.

I suggest you prepare a list of how you perceive things around you or your attitude toward life. Of course you will have those that do not serve you well and you don’t have to beat yourself down because of it, after all you are human. All you have to do is eliminate them completely and replace them with their opposite ones. Say you think that you are looser and you cannot achieve anything in life or that life is way too hard whatever your perception is, your subconscious takes it in and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

So instead of saying that, think of the past achievements or think of how much you can achieve and conquer a lot and how easy life can get if only you apply the right skills. You may not believe it but I advise that you keep doing it, fake it till you make it. Keep repeating those words to yourself as much as possible and no matter how long it takes, you will enjoy its aftermath.

This exercise requires some time, full time dedication and a burning desire to really do it and achieve your goals otherwise if you easily give up you will not go far. You should set time for some deep analysis of your habits and do more of meditation to help relax your mind. Keep the positive attributes coming until it becomes your new approach to life. Your mind will have a new command to steer you directly into your dreams.

Sharing this 1000 BC secret


Since thousands of years ago, Mantras were first written about in the ancient Vedic scriptures which went back as old as 1,000 B.C.

At that time, mantras were simply either a word or a collection of words or sounds aimed to be repeated to attain positive changes in life.

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Learn to be Grateful

Just today in class we were doing an exercise in Personal Development and discussing the skills we have in life now as we are finishing our first term of  our course in Health and Social care. We journeyed through numeracy, literacy, being a team worker and all the usual skills that would come to the mind of a teenager or young adult.

Just to make life interesting I threw in the word“Gratitude” and was not surprised when I got a sea of blank faces… eh what?… what is she on about now?

What´s that?

Now in all honesty I did not expect them to throw themselves fully into this discussion but what I really wanted to do was plant a seed of though that feeling “gratitude” is a skill that they should look at and one that they could grow over time.

The ability to be grateful… it´s quite simple really… We are grateful for what we have.

My purpose in throwing this skill into the discussion is to try and show teenagers that if they stop looking at the blocks and the limitations they place on themselves they can develop a more open view of people of life in general and the world we live in.

In our western society where happiness and contentment are assumed to be connected to wealth and fame it is difficult to main focus and attention on developing this skill of gratitude but it will grow if we can maintain our focus. We are bombarded daily with stories of the rich and famous in the media so its not surprising that children grow up assuming that money somehow makes us successful and happy.

As the discussion in class moved forward and we all started to add the aspects of life we are grateful for it was enlightening to say the least and fun as well !

We looked at all those aspects in life that we take for granted in our western Society.

Free Health care, a home to live in, feeling secure in our homes and getting a good education were a few that were mentioned.

So does being grateful make us happy?

I cannot give you the answer to that as it is something you have to ask yourself. … but I can tell you a story.

The happiest people I have ever met where the children from the remote African Villages where we grew up in Northern Uganda. They had no shoes on their feet and most of the time had little clothes.

So what made them happy?

The rim of a bicycle wheel and a stick to roll it along the ground…

Learn to be Grateful!


Self Discovery ….a key to a happy Life

The term “Self discovery” means identifying yourself and your needs. I often talk to students in health and social care in  college about identifying a person’s needs. .When we identify a person’s needs then we can apply a plan to help them with where they are right now.

It is however a different story when we try to identify our own needs. 

Sounds simple enough but in reality, it has a huge meaning and a huge role in people’s life. You may dream of leading a certain kind of life, but when you enter that kind of life, you do not seem to be happy.

We all have ideas in our heads of what is going to make us happy and then end up totally disappointed when we feel we have arrived there and we are still not happy

This is what makes self-discovery very important.

If you do not discover yourself, and know exactly what you want form life, you always tend to be unhappy. This is the major reasons why counselors go for self-discovery sessions. However, even without the help of counselors, you can discover yourself if are a little aware of your needs and feelings.

The first step to self-discovery is identification of your needs.

Most of the people do not know what they want. They keep on searching for one thing and when they achieve that thing, they still are unhappy. To identify your needs, you first need to sit in a quiet place and relax yourself.

Then, when you are in a relaxed state of mind, meditate and focus on your thoughts. Ask yourself questions like what makes you happy, what makes you sad and so on. Along with the question of what, also ask why it makes you happy or sad.

Seek a deep and strong reason behind it, not any fragile reason. After you have the answer to all your questions, write them down in a piece of paper in a tabular form so that whenever you see it, you can understand it.

This finishes the identification session. This is the most important part of the session of self-discovery.

Next, you have to prioritize your needs that you have identified from the first step. You may have several reasons that make you happy, but it is not possible to implement them altogether. Therefore, you have to prioritize them into first, second, third and so on.

This will make everything systematic and you can get all the happy things done one by one. Since you have also noted the things that make you sad, therefore, you can stay away from those things. There will be no confusions anymore if they are well written in paper as well as well engraved in your mind. When we write these needs and what makes us happy and it become visual then it also become more real and tangible.

Next is executing these happy moments into actions.

Easier said than done. Realize that happiness is often in the journey rather than the destination.

If, you discover yourself and what is really important in your life then you will lead a happier life if you are well-disciplined.

Stick to what is right for you… not what you think should be right but what you know is right.

Be true to yourself, to your needs, to your values and also your beliefs.

take care 


My Review of Ancient Secrets of Kings

Are you satisfied with your life?

If your answer is no, then I recommend you read this review because it is about a new video transformation course that will transform your negative answer into an affirmative one.

If you want to improve your productivity and work towards achieving success in your  life,  this  video transformation course will help your cause.

Ancient Secrets of Kings is an innovative and brilliant self-improvement transformation course that picks up  many amazing success stories and the secrets of ancient emperors and brings them together in the form of videos.

The course is spread over  what they call 3 pillars (more on that later), which are further divided into several modules. It is an extremely comprehensive course which deals with different aspects of life and teaches you important life lessons for success.

These days, many of us  are inclined to prepare ourselves for the future based on predictions. Although this is not a bad idea, a  better option would be to analyse the past and learn from it. If you do not repeat the mistakes you made and then you are bound to succeed.

Ancient Secrets of Kings works on that same principle and highlights the ancient kings’ secrets which are not known to many.

This is then there for you to apply to any situation in your modern lifestyle today.

Ancient Secret of Kings

Power of Three
Ancient Secrets of Kings has three important pillars, which are then divided into different modules. Each of the  pillars refers to a place where ancient kings ruled.

China was a center of arts, learning, and innovation  back in the days when ancient kings ruled over the land.

Ancient Secrets of Kings uncovers the many hidden facts about those ancient Chinese emperors which weren’t discovered for centuries literally  because the Chinese did not share their secrets with anyone.

One aspect which first took me by surprise was about creating boundaries but after watching the videos, I changed my mind.

The way in which the point was justified is just simply amazing. The ancient Chinese kings ordered the construction of the Great Wall of China to protect his people from foreign intrusions and attacks. Another important factor which was crucial  in the growth of the Chinese civilization is hard work. This was possible because of the optimization of their lives. The Chinese believed strongly in enhancing their productivity and they strictly followed their timetables. All this contributed to the success of China as a nation and civilization.

Whenever you are talking about ancient civilizations, the first place we all think of is  Egypt. The biggest lesson to learn from the Ancient Egyptian civilization is for us to use our available resources efficiently and also follow a proactive approach. Take advantage of your present skills and ideas to transform your life. You will be surprised to know how well  the pharaohs used their human resources, financial resources, natural resources and other resources to their advantage. Today It serves as a great inspiration for anyone who wants to turn his or her dreams into reality. This helps a great deal in managing risks and making the most of opportunities. You can  turn things around just  by walking in the footsteps of ancient Egyptian pharaohs.

For people who want to live their dreams, the final pillar is Israel, and it is the most important. In this pillar, you learn how you can achieve both financial stability (money) and emotional attachment (love) at the same time. To do this, you have to follow the guidelines provided in this pillar to resolve conflicts  and cool off the anger. These are two of the basic threats to society  today. Prosperity and peace will come to the surface when you keep these two factors in check. After watching the videos, it is not that difficult to live your life to the fullest, even in these turbulent times.

My Recommendation
I can safely — and strongly — recommend this course to anyone who wants to change their lives for the better. It will benefit them throughout their lives and in everything that they do. I teach personal development in a unit to my students and I  have seen many of them move forward and achieve when they have looked at the lessons from their past.

The Ancient Secrets of Kings  gives you a unique opportunity to turn back the clock and learn from the past.

Its worth a lot more than the time and money you spend 

In addition to the Ancient secrets of kings I have the following personal development books as a bonus for anyone who orders through this link.

Just send me  your order details and as a special thank you  I will send you the books below.

BookSelfHelpTips BuildingSelfConfidence_plr MasteryOverSelf_mrrStopSelfDefeatingBehav_mrrg


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Top 5 Regrets of the Dying


If you are reading this email then you are like me and that heading really got your attention!

I consider myself lucky …yes lucky in that I have had a fear of dying happen to me in my life some 15 years ago. This was in the 45 minutes that I sat outside the surgeon’s office waiting to hear if my tumor was malignant or benign. As I sat there with my husband waiting to walk in I was faced with the fear that I might die. The thoughts that went through my head were all about my family.

I never once thought of work or anything else for that matter. All I thought about was my husband and my kids. When I received the good news in the surgeons office…it was benign and operable then what I had gone through in my mind while waiting outside his office was a revelation. It was a revelation that nothing else is really important except for those you love.

Those 45 minutes changed my whole perspective in life and made me realize that my life could come to an end at any time.  It totally changed my attitude to life and made me determined that when I get to that stage when my time is up then I will have no regrets.

We do not know when our final moments will be and yet most of us travel through life thinking that time is endless. We assume that we will be around for a long time and that we can put off the things we really want to do because we have so much time and we can do it at a later stage.

In effect we are drifting through life we are not living it.

If this is you ……then read these regrets below. They will surely get you thinking

Top five regrets of the dying


Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a book.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the number one  regret. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. All of the men  deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.


I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

 I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

 I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a  common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

If this article has hit home with you and you feel its time to change the direction of your life then listening to The Millionaires Brain will make you think!

 what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

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