As a Mormon, would I be allowed to masturbate to improve my colon health?

14 comments

  • pierceplatinum

    Dude, wack away. If anything it will help your prostate in the long run. I don’t know about your colon though…

  • B.L. ZeBozo

    Coffee enemas

    Anything endorsed by Steve McQueen can’t be all bad.

  • Megz775

    Are you talking about anal masturbation? Sounds kind of freaky.

  • Pfistulated Cow

    Doctrine aside, I seriously think you need to study a little elementary anatomy.

  • Cat Man

    GROW UP YOU MORON……I mean Mormon

  • fritistat

    You can punch your one-eyed clown until you’re sore and it wouldn’t matter a damn to your colon.

    Your prostate is another story, however.

  • Blue Foots with Orange Paint

    Well if that’s where your p*nis is located, then go for it. lol

  • John M

    well really now, if that is all it takes to get your brain into chruch they just might let you go with a " if you thing you can handle it, go for it".

    but you could just let your body take care of it for you. or didn’t you learn that part in health class?

  • Scott L

    Either Mormons have odd anatomy or you are planning to stimulate your prostate transanally. However pleasurable you may find that, I doubt if it will improve your colon health.

  • Spongie

    The Bible never specifically mentions masturbation or states whether masturbation is a sin. There is no question, however, as to whether the actions that lead to masturbation are sinful. Masturbation is the end result of lustful thoughts, sexual stimulation, and/or pornographic images. It is these problems that need to be dealt with. If the sins of lust and pornography are forsaken and overcome – the problem of masturbation will become a non-issue.

    The Bible tells us to avoid even the appearance of sexual immorality (Ephesians 5:3). I do not see how masturbating can pass that particular test. Sometimes a good test for whether something is a sin or not is whether you would be proud to tell others what you had just done. If it is something you would be embarrassed or ashamed about if others found out, it is very likely that it is a sin. Another good test is to determine whether we can honestly, in good conscience, ask God to bless and use the particular activity for His own good purposes. I do not think masturbation qualifies as something we can be "proud" of or can genuinely thank God for.

    The Bible teaches us, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31). If there is room for doubt as to whether it pleases God, then it is best to give it up. There is definitely room for doubt in regards to masturbation. "For whatsoever is not of faith is sin" (Romans 14:23). I do not see how, according to the Bible, masturbation could be considered glorifying to God. Further, we need to remember that our bodies, as well as our souls, have been redeemed and belong to God. "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). This great truth should have a real bearing on what we do and where we go with our bodies. So, in light of these principles, I would definitely have to say that masturbation is a sin according to the Bible. I do not believe that masturbation is pleasing to God, avoids the appearance of immorality, or passes the test of God having ownership over our bodies.

    http://www.gotquestions.org/

  • Justin M

    I didn’t know masturbation improves your colon health? I really don’t care, I think you have the wrong idea.

  • darran311

    what? the hell are you talking out of? i mean about

  • candleinthewind7579

    Steve McQueen died zabozo…the coffee enemas didn’t work

  • hibby76

    Can you do it without lusting???

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